31 oz. of pure poop

katherine/roommate just informed me that starbucks has developed a new 31 oz. size option.

really?? the venti wasn't big enough or full of enough crack for you, you coffee loons?
31 oz. any european country would spit on us. that's just ridiculous. i can barely finish a grande without having to run to the crapper halfway through, let alone 31 oz.!
however, her and i's texts about it did make for a good post. join the rant if you dare:
k - they should call it "the colon cleanse"
e - the should call it "actual liquid cocaine"
k - haha "you will seize at your desk"
e - "um yes can i have the never ending poop attack with an extra shot of vanilla?"
k - "i'll have the non fat latte in the instant diarrhea size and a scone, please"
e - LOL "can i have i wish my boyfriends dick was this long size please?"
k - hahahahaha you wish your bfriends peepee was 31 oz?? that's one sick ass chode
e - well i didn't ask ur opinion, miss barista. just pour me my instant shitter and ill be on my way
k - barista hahaha. what do you do for a living? oh, actually.. im a barista (said in pretentious voice)
and people wonder a) why we're best friends and b) what in the hell we text about so much.