have you ever made love to a thug in the club?

neither have i. however, you could come very close when you go to a place called "denim and diamonds"... which is what my friends and i did this past weekend while i was visiting KC,MO.

interested? here's the link: http://denimanddiamondskc.com/

but i'll tell you this... looking at the web site does no justice to actually experiencing it in its entirety. we drank from 1130-5 and danced from 1131-459. on any other regular day, this would not have occurred. however, because we were reuniting and because it was smack in the middle of the st. patty's day parade, we had no choice.

we encountered a slew of lesbians, some of which hit on not only myself but my good friend, geddie. at one point during the day of blur, i realized i hadn't seen geddie for a while, so i texted her asking where she was to which she replied:

"omg. someones hitting obn me. soeine uis a fenmale. im freaking out." this translates into "omg. someones hitting on me. someone is a female. im freaking out." and freaking out she was, for this "someone female" was an older lady with bleach blonde hair and a toothless smile who told geddie more than once that she had her granddaughter's eyes and then would hug stephanie tightly.

denim and diamonds not only made us very thirsty, but also very hungry. i sent a number of different people the specific poundage of food i felt i was going to need to make it through my drunk-straight-into-a-hangover phase. the magic number?


30 lbs. of food.

i had some chips and a salsa and sandwich. that's as close to 30 pounds as a human can get. AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT?

denim and diamonds. diamonds and denim. the liquor tastes good but then turns into venom.


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