with knowledge like that, who needs knowledge

at dinner sunday night with my parents, i wanted a glass of wine. red wine. so, i browsed the wine list and happened upon a type called "Claret." i used to own my own vineyard, but that doesn't mean i know all wines like the back of my hand (or my throat).

so, i inquired with the waiter what TYPE of wine a claret is... i.e. perhaps it's more like this kind or it's a mix of these 2. would you like to know how he responded when i asked him the question?

"um, it's a type of wine."

wait... WHAT??? this wine that i pointed out on the menu and asked what KIND OF WINE IT IS is a TYPE OF WINE????? HOW DID YOU GET SO SMART?

obviously, my dad was thinking that same thing, but took it a step further by making him feel like a complete douchebag.

"wait... really?! it's a type of wine?? you've got MAD SKILLS, dude. wow. well, i'm sold."

i didn't go with the claret and i still have no effing idea what the eff it is. so thanks, waiter man. thanks for NOTHING.

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