top quotes of the weekend

i took the time to write them down, so i might as well make them public.

1) "my favorite is to get a starbucks and walk on the katy trail like i'm a power bitch, but really... i'm a secretary."

2) "can we go to taste of addison yet? because it's gonna be like tastes... of boys."

3) "i'm a strategic facebooker."

and the top scenario of the weekend was as follows:
at a bar friday night, standing at the counter ordering a drink with a guy friend. i turn around and this short, pudgy blonde dude is pretending to shoot my back with finger guns. "what are you doing?" i ask. "shooting you," he so wittily retorts. "but why?" "i'm trying to shoot the knot in the back of your outfit in hopes it will come untied."

for the first time in a very long time, i was speechless. it was so ridicuously stupid that i couldn't even think of something surly to say back to him, so i just turned around. now, today, i feel like george costanza coming up with what i should've said days after the fact. please feel free to leave comments as to how you think i should've reacted. my mom said:

"you should've starting shooting at his zipper saying, 'i'm just trying to get your penis to flop out!'"
or
"that's the WORST fucking pick-up line i ever heard and you're an idiot."

if life were a movie, what i would've loved to do is just untie it and scream, "HERE! HERE YA GO. HAPPY?" alas, this is real life, and i just took my vodka pressed and moved along.

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