prepare to be amazed
okay, so i may have lost my blog mojo for just a couple of days, but i decided to actually say "yes" to one of the 97 viagra emails i get every day, and i'll tell you what... it's back, baby! (please say that in a george costanza voice or don't say it at all).
i was desperately seeking inspiration for a new post when it smacked me square in the face in the next lane over. yeah, i know i've written a good handful of posts that have to do with driving, but this is different. i promise. this time, it'll be different.
upon my drive home the other evening, i was sitting at a stop light waiting "patiently" when i happened to notice the car next to me. what i saw was so incredibly, off-the-charts, bizarre that i had to not only double-take, i had to scoot my car up a bit more to make sure i hadn't, in fact, been drugged and was starting to halluecinate.
there was a man.
in a suit.
a nice suit.
with whiteish/greyish hair and glasses.
he looked normal. an established business man.
he was driving a lexus.
he was eating out of a container of vanilla frosting using his index finger.
no, i am not making this up. yes, i am serious. no! i will not make out with you!
this dude was going to TOWN (what does that even mean? where did that phrase come from? i go to town frequently, but i don't do it in a really intense, full-throttle way. i just go and come back). he was dipping his entire index finger into that creamy valley of frosting and eating huge hunks at a time. i feel as though we, as a team, can make some pretty huge assumptions from this behavior:
1) he's depressed
2) he's stressed as all hell
3) he's a freak
4) his guilty pleasure is frosting and his wife won't allow it in the house
5) his wife is a control freak and all he has left in his life to control is his sick, twisted frosting obsession
6) he used to be a fatty and is falling off the road of success at a very swift pace
7) he's pregnant
whatever you choose to decide about this man, it happened and i saw it. i was even able to snap a quick, poor-quality picture on my phone that i will attempt to upload on here later as proof.
we can all learn a lesson from what i saw: next time you think you have it bad and you're feeling down and out, just remember that prestigous business men are right there with you... in their cars... eating frosting straight out of the container.
i'll have the cake, but hold the cake and just give me an entire plate full of frosting. to go. in my car. so people can stare. thanks.