tween angst

did your parents have weird names for body parts when you were growing up? do they still? do you have bad credit? if so, keep reading. this will really speak to your problems.

no, i'm kidding. if you have bad credit, get the FUCK off my blog site. you don't even deserve to be on here. i don't serve people with bad credit.

no, i'm kidding again. i don't even have credit. or maybe i do. i can't remember. if i do and i don't remember, i'm obviously on the right track to success.

let's get to the main thrust of my blog. when i was a young one, my parents created a word to reference our female parts. what's that you say? that's WEIRD? you may be right, but it's entertaining nonetheless.

they called it a "pupie." i just sat here for 2 minutes trying to think of how i could phonetically spell that for you, but i'm not having any luck. it kind of sounds like puppy, but more so like poopy. it's combo between puppy and poopy. poopy puppy.

ANYWAY - our parents claim to have told us it was a made up word at one point or another, but we either just didn't hear them or forgot about it, because, one night, while at the local movie theatre, my dad began to yell out "PUPIE!!!" as loudly as he could.

keep in mind, my sister and i didn't understand that it was a completely made up word that referenced our whoo-ha's. in our tween eyes, our father was sitting in the middle of a huge, crowded theatre at the most popular cinemark in town screaming, "VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VAGINA!!!!!! VAGINA!!!!!" this was also the age where going to the movies was the end-all and be-all of the social scene. going to see shrek? might as well be attending a red carpet event, shooooot.

so as my father is screaming what we think everyone else hears as "VAGINA!", my sister and i are close to death. completely wedged down into our seats, tears beginning to form in our eyes, BEGGING my dad to please stop. as i saw my entire social life flash before my eyes (and when i say entire social life i mean hanging with my family and maybe 1 friend every other weekend...), my dad turns to us in utter confusion and says, "what are you freaking about?! it's a made up word! i thought you knew that!"

still weary of his honesty, he urged us to go to school the next day and test it out. "seriously. go up to any of your friends and say it. they won't understand. they'll probably think you're talking about a dog." so, the next day at school, i walked straight up to one of my best friends and exclaimed, "MY PUPIE ITCHES." "your puppy?" she asks. "how do you know your puppy is itching? wait, you guys have a dog now?!"

and, from that day forth, i would walk the halls of my school exclaiming things about my pupie. not really, but it definitely made conversations a bit more interesting on my end.

my pupie brings all the boys to the yard,

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