two awesome things and a dream i dreamed

here is your catalyst that will propel you through the rest of this friday. two awesome things i was turned onto this week:

if you like mash-ups (um, that's hipster lingo for musical combinations between two or more artists, gah. get with the times, you drag), check out this one of the notorious and the xx. the album is called "the notorious xx" and the artist refers to himself as "wait what," which is what you'll be asking yourself after being taken aback by how dope this shiz is (dope is another word only hipsters can use). thank you to mister burton for this gem.

the other awesome thing i was sent this week is a tumblr blog called "TO MY WIFE." an incredibly simplistic and short-form entry blog where this guy writes little notes to his future wife about things he won't do and things he will do. super clever and something every gender can enjoy. thank you, miss duitch for this send.


so onto the dream i had the other night. i realize that by writing this, i'm letting you deep into the depths of my mind and it may not be a place you'd choose to go. however, i needed to document this somehow and what's a better way than to post it publicly to the world?

the dream:

my beau and i had decided to go on a weekend vacation, a getaway if you will. we posted up in this swanky hotel in who knows what state and made the collective decision to stay in bed together the entire weekend. so, one very early morning, around 6am or so, i realized i really needed to tinkle. oddly enough, our hotel room didn't have a bathroom in it. the only available ladies room was out in the hotel's hallway. i turned to my bf and said, "i have to pee so bad, but i really don't want to get dressed." oh - i should've mentioned i was completely naked. like not even a piece of jewelry on. so, he says to me, "then don't. it's early enough that no one will be up yet. just run across the hall really quick and run back." i trusted his judgement of early morning pee habits, so i did as he said and ran across the hallway, butt naked, to the bathroom. once in a stall, i was relieved (literally and figuratively). suddenly, like clockwork, a flood of about 20 girls came in and would. not. leave.

they were standing around like it was fucking social hour, gabbing and taking forever to use the other stalls. i started panicking and became overwhelmingly aware of my nakedness. i was terrified, i was cold and i had no idea how the hell i was going to get out of this situation without running past them in the nude. for a split second, i thought, "maybe if i just sprinted past them, they wouldn't know what hit them and i'd leave them going 'what?! did you see that? was that a naked girl?!? is it weird that i'm turned on!!!!?'" but i couldn't do it. my anxiety attack was becoming more and more in control of me and i started sweating.

then, the bathroom door swung open and (somehow through my stall, as though it was a magic stall where i can see out but people can't see in) i saw my bf walk in. he must've figured something had gone terribly wrong since i had been gone way longer than it takes to pee. that's when i noticed; he was disguised as an old man: grey hairspray in his hair, stage makeup made to look like wrinkles, and a cane. he had gone to all the trouble to have an emergency costume in case something like this ever happened to me. he pretended to be lost and confused, and wandered directly into my stall where i sat on the john awaiting my fake grandpa hero. he had even brought me clothes to wear, helped me get dressed and we escaped together through the bathroom door and back into reality.




and i'm so glad you were able to partake.

have a fantastic weekend. make it a good one, because as adults, it's really the only joy we have now.