hello. is it me you're looking for?

i can see it in your eyes...

i can see it in your smile...

i can see it in your search engine, too.

hey guys. it's been almost an entire month since i last wrote - that's crazy. especially when you take into consideration h0w incredibly on top of, underneath and even behind posting i was the last several months.

i'll be honest - things have changed; i've been very distracted. i got a new job, i had twins, gave one of them up for adoption, decided i couldn't live knowing they were growing up apart, staged a meeting between them in a department store dressing room, they got signed on to have their own disney sitcom, we got rich, then as most disney sitcoms go, one of them got pregnant and everything went to shit.

needless to say, it's been a hectic month.

between my jobs, however, i had about a full 2 weeks of downtime. at first, it was overwhelming. being a person who thrives off of being constantly busy and loves having lists of things to accomplish, i had no idea what to do with myself. ya know, we sit at our desks every day watching the clock, waiting until it's the magic hour when we can go home and rest up before the next day of clock-watching. me, on the other hand? well, having almost 2 full weeks of free time really opened my eyes to the idea of TOO much freedom. i sat. i slept (and woke up early every day, mind you). i cleaned way too much. i even managed to spend my last paycheck from the old job in a matter of 5 days (imagine that).

i'm telling you - that much time off can be too much. if everyone else you know also has that time off, GREAT. if you're the only one out of your friends who isn't working for those 2 weeks, no mam. things can get boring, lonely and expensive quickly.

i attempted to document my down time with pictures, but it didn't really work out. these were the only 2 i managed to capture:




i also made sure to dress in fat girl clothes and no makeup most days, indulge in smorgasbord types of lunches, do silly things like drive through car washes without paying, and one day i managed to go through my entire closet and sell a lot of clothes to high-end second-hand clothing stores like plato's and buffalo exchange.

in conclusion, this is just me saying "hello. i'm still here. i may be busy with my new gig and have had a lot going on the past month, but i am alive and well and will try to pick it back up again."

i'd like to sign off with a quote from JLO. i feel her long lyrics speak to me and best describe what i'm feeling right now:

don't be confused by the rocks that i got

i'm still, i'm still jenny from the block.

i used to have a little, now i have a lot.

no matter where i go, i know where i came from (SOUTH SIDE BRONX!)


emma4 Comments