stupid bitch! no, really. stupid bitch.
oh hey there. sorry, i was distracted by the 703 spam comments my blog caught, one which advertised "nymphets"? what the fuck are nymphets? nymphs in the form of little fairies? or infants that are nymphs? i'm concerned about what in the hell type of vibes my blog is releasing out to the internet universe. let me explain the title of this post. you know how you call a friend a stupid bitch and half the time you truly mean it from the depths of your soul? that's what this entry is going to be about: why we remain friends with friends we don't really like.
i've been out of college for a solid 2 years now, and a lot of shit has gone down in those 2 years. one thing that i realize more and more with each passing month (maybe even day, really) is that once you've been plucked out of the collegiate situation where you're more or less forced to be around/like the majority of people you're introduced to, you start to realize... wait a minute. what if i DON'T like this person? what if i was blinded at the time because they were really all i had and was used to, but now i see that they're a cunt?
it happens to all of us (especially women), and you know why? because, whether you feel like it or not inside, we're maturing. getting older. becoming more, urm, selective. you wonder why your grandparents are so fucking cranky all the time? because they've lived a lot of life and have come to realize that most people suck and are worthy of being hated by many.
am i depressing you? well, i'm sorry but i just think it's time we all fess up. girls are bitches by nature, and that's the friggin truth. and, as you begin to see clearly their character, it becomes easier and easier to weed them out. or does it?
now, this is where it gets tricky and slippery and confusing and hazy and chalky (?). so many of us hold onto friends that we KNOW aren't really that loyal, that nice, that truthful, that fun, that caring, that gracious, that ANYTHING, yet we cannot find it in ourselves to cut ties. we know this person causes us more stress, anxiety, upset and overall distrust than they do happiness, but we can't let go. my question to you, readers, is
is it because we're people pleasers by nature (not i)? does it have something to do with fear of being outcast by all your other friends if you were to be bold and break it off with this one friend? or are we all just big titty babies who find standing up for ourselves the most difficult task of all? or is it the kicker... HISTORY?
history - whatta bitch. you can blame EVERYTHING on history. "but we have so much HISTORY." yeah, well guess what? history is history. the past is the past. good things go away. not everything stays the same. people change. you grow up and realize how different you two are or how one of your lives is going this way and the other is going that and you're sort of drifting apart. using history as an excuse is lamer than blake lively's "nude photos" (see what i did there with a pop culture reference?). a friendship is just like a romantic relationship wherein, at some point, when you feel you're unhappy and sort of vacillating, you've got to ask yourself "what's good about this and why am i continuing onward with it?"
does your friend cause you anxiety?
does your friend cause you stress?
has your friend ever made you cry by their actions or words?
is your friend truly trustworthy?
does your friend treat you like a friend or moreso like a frenemy or even a super creepy, possessive boyfriend/girlfriend situation?
do you feel at ease when you receive a call or text from this friend?
does your friend often take tones with you and make digs at you?
(and, as corny as it sounds) does this friend have your best intentions in mind?
this is the kind of hard shit you have to force yourself to answer. and yeah, it's difficult. and yeah, it's weird and it sucks to do. but life shouldn't ever be about quantity, no. it should be about quality. i'd rather have 3 fly ass, really close friends as opposed to 7 fair-weather and so-so friends. you hear what i'm yelling?
of course you can have acquaintances and the like - i'm talking about assessing BEST, CLOSE, GREAT friendships. and i feel so strongly about this because i know this is a common situation that occurs, especially at this age and especially during this prolonged quarter-life crisis sort of time.
maybe i'm speaking jibberish. maybe you think i suck now or am not making valid points. but guess what? i don't care because if you think that, we probably aren't friends and never have been and never will be. stupid bitch.