i would rather......

i would rather

- be rich than dead

i would rather

- eat chipotle whenever i wanted and, in result, be a bit "thicker" than never get to have chipotle and be super thin and clinically depressed

i would rather

- have a really cold white wine over a red wine (even though i pretend i LOOOOOOVE red wine since it seems so much more sophisticated) (i really do enjoy a good malbec or pinot noir) (i swear)

i would rather

- date a guy with a really hairy ass than a guy with jacked up teeth (sick)

i would rather

- eat a chipotle burrito for dessert than a normal, sane person's dessert (i have a problem)

i would rather

- not be your friend at all than have to fake it and stoop to that shitty, superficial level

i would rather

- wear a baggier t-shirt and messy hair than a super fitted dress and perfectly tamed hair

i would rather

- make out for 15 hours straight than have a "quickie"

i would rather

- work from 6a-6p M-Thu every week and have Friday off completely than do the typical 9-5 (which is really 830-530, but i get that 9-5 was easier to say)

i would rather

- go to a house party than out to a bar

i would rather

- have my eyes gouged out than have to ever make another traditional and old school "cold call" again

i would rather

- have sofia vergara's body over giselle's (i read a snippet in our beloved COSMO recently that stated all these girls would give up sex and alcohol to have giselle's body - REALLY?! i would pull out a permanent tooth to have sofia's) (of course, the tooth would have to be a molar or something)

i would rather

- fart in a meeting than burp in a meeting (at least with farting you can blame it on someone else)

i would rather

- have girls than boys (baby talk)

i would rather

- sleep in and work late than get up early

i would rather

- just be straight up naked by the pool than have to wear any type of swimwear (at least when you're naked that's it. with swimsuits, what "that's it" is can be distorted by bottoms and tops cutting into your skin in all the wrong places)

i would rather

- have amazing sex with a few partners than mediocre and thoughtless sex with a lot of partners

i would rather

- be in a relationship than be single (we all would) (don't lie)

i would rather

- read books with bigger print than books with tiny, really dense sentences (harry potter, what! hunger games, what!)

i would rather

- have plans than fly by the seat of my pants (what can i say? i like having things to look forward to)

i would rather

- take a train across the entire world than have to take airplanes (if that were somehow possible) (water trains?)

i would rather

- be short than tall (true story)

i would rather

- drink a cocktail with my straw pushed to the side and bent than sip from it like a little girl

i would rather

- sit than stand. always.

i would rather

- yell during a fight than follow that line of bullshit: "if you're yelling during a fight, you've already lost." DON'T TELL ME HOW TO ARGUE, BITCH.

i would rather

- write all day than do anything else ever

happy tuesday,

emma

emma1 Comment