they say, and i quote

quotes are quotes for a reason. because someone said it and it was a pretty decent thing to say and rang true enough that someone else decided to spread it around by word of mouth (still the best form of advertising and a way to spread horrible rumors about sluts you hate or guys who fucked you over). cliché sayings, on the other hand, are just so...cliché. however, they, too, are cliché for a reason - because as much as we might hate to admit it, they make you go "ugh totes." i try to act all "i don't even care" but i DO care and i care about quotes and sayings. so, with today's entry, i hand selected some of each (quotes and/or annoying sayings) to analyze, criticize and word vomit all over. shall we dive right in?

let's start this post off with a bang.


 The hardest period in life is one’s 20s. It’s a shame because you’re your most gorgeous and you’re physically in peak condition, but it’s actually when you’re most insecure and full of self-doubt. When you don’t know what’s going to happen, it’s frightening.

said by the fabulous and regal, Helen Mirren. i mean, what more is there to say about what she already just said? i don't know one 20something year old girl who, right now, is anything but doubtful, confused and has bouts of whoami, whereamigoing, whatamidoing, WHO AM I?!?? my mom always says to me, "i would never want to go back to my 20s. the angst and confusion was too much. maybe i'd go back NOW knowing what i know, but i would never want to just go back in time and be that age again. i feel sorry for you. now help me put the dishes away and DON'T touch my ice cream in the freezer." listen up, peers - next time you're feeling ugly, fat, alone, dumb, confused or just down for no particular reason, refer back to this quote and know this -- YOU'RE NOT ALONE. people say your teens is the most angst-ridden? HA. i beg to differ.the 20s involves money (lack thereof), responsibility, more complex relationships of all kinds, career, even more intense hormonal changes, and pressures that feel like a humpback whale sitting on your chest. lord help us to the finish line of this bullshit.


Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.

ah, Machiavelli. this is one of those old sayings that maybe you don't understand when you're younger, but as you grow up, you not only completely comprehend what it's telling you to do, but also try to do it. it's a dirty feeling when the enemy doesn't know what you're playing at, but when they probably do know, it's sort of like you're in it together, as enemies -pretending to be buddies with the other in order to keep an eye on their slutty ways or bitchy behavior. of course, it takes WAYYY more energy to do this and to secretly hate someone inside but act fine about it on the outside, so it gets old kind of fast. but there is nothing wrong with trying to abide by this saying if the situation calls for it - i'm not gonna judge you. i trust your intuition. if this person is completely untrustworthy and is the type to throw you under the bus or do you wrong, you befriend that bitch. laugh with her, jog with her, go out to dinners with her. treat it like you're in the CIA and were put on this special case to keep an eye on desired no.1. justify later, do now.


Any friend of yours is a friend of mine.

said by unknown. i'm sorry... what? this saying makes NO sense. just because i'm friends with YOU doesn't mean i'm gonna be friends with your friends outside of me. i mean, maybe i'll find like one friend of yours that i truly click with and it'll be great, but normally, that's not how shit happens. new friends and old friends don't always mesh 100%. actually, they rarely do - maybe like 60% and that's on a good day. plus, what if i had a falling out with someone who you choose to remain friends with? then this quote is REALLY worthless. and oh, just because i'm your friend means i'm gonna be best friends with your office friends? no. you make no sense to me. don't tell me this. don't. you're a fool.


When you feel you’re with somebody you don’t deserve, that’s when a relationship happens -- when both people feel they don’t deserve the person they’re with.

deleted Elaine dialogue from Seinfeld. that's right - i keep the "notes about nothing" on sometimes to learn as much as i possibly can about the best show ever created and sometimes i find gems like this quote. i've never thought about it this way, but it's completely true and right. no one wants be with someone they know they could be with (aka "settling," aka the supposed worst crime against yourself as a person) - they want to be with someone who makes them feel like "how did i get so lucky? i can't believe i'm with this person." that's what keeps people on their toes. gah, i love you, larry david (assuming he most likely wrote that deleted line).


Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth.

supposedly Mark Twain said this, but i was too lazy to go on a mad surf trying to figure out whether or not that was true. i'm sure someone will correct me, but regardless, this quote makes me squirm. i just - this isn't life, people. it isn't. people care way too fucking much about their appearance, about getting hurt, about being embarrassed or not looking cool enough. and there's too much bad shit in the world to ever treat the earth like it's heaven. it's like when people say they're just gonna pack up and go to europe - no you're not. because you probably don't have the money for it and it takes a lot more thinking to execute this type of plan than just up and going. you can find your own ways to feel happy day-to-day, like drinking good beer, listening to good music and singing alone by yourself,  or planning a small road trip. but what this quote embodies is just too fart out of reach, i think. i just typed "fart" instead of "far" and i'm keeping it that way.


Love means never having to say you're sorry.

from the movie "Love Story." in all honesty, i haven't ever seen it. sorry. i didn't understand this quote for the longest time when i first heard it. i was all like "huh?! he BETTER be apologizing if he's late or hurt my feelings by being a jerk or messed up on a small scale in general." then, suddenly it hit me. if you're truly in love with somebody, you shouldn't ever be saying things like: "i'm so sorry i cheated on you." "i'm sorry i was texting and flirting with your close friend." "i'm sorry i was an asshole to your parents and didn't care." "i'm sorry i completely forgot about plans we made and didn't text or call you until after the fact." "i'm sorry i killed your pets for fun." "i'm sorry i'm not sorry." you get the point. maybe in the movie she was meaning it like, you never have to say sorry to me for anything because i love you too much? i don't know. either way, this is how i think of it and now i see clearly how it makes sense.

let's stop there for today. i think i've done enough rambling to suffice for a while.

early bird gets the worm, bitches.