ode to the fashion blogger

something's been really bugging me lately: fashion bloggers. not one in particular, just all of them. i actually know a few of them, so if you're one of those few i actually know, please don't take too much offense to this - maybe just try and understand where my frustration is coming from. here's the deal: i work relatively hardish on these entries. they mean a lot to me and i rack my brain every week to come up with intriguing, funny and generally entertaining posts. when i put up posts with pictures of myself in them, i've taken all those pictures on my own (literally, setting the timer on my camera for every picture and going until i get the shot i want). i'm trying here, so when i get praise or 3 "likes," it makes me elated.

then i see these fashion blogs that contain picture upon picture of the blogger herself in the same outfit in 27 different "poses" and it gets 30 "likes" and 15 comments. and all i can really think to say to that is

REALLY???!!??!

i mean, yeah. i get it. looking at pictures of a pretty girl in cool outfits is fun and mindless and can inspire even the dowdiest of dressers. but THAT shit gets 30 fucking likes and i get 3 on a good day??? how is that fair? i'm likeable (i think). i'm trying to write shit that makes you think, laugh or takes up a good 10 minutes of your afternoon and leaves you smiling. alas, i guess the majority of you want pictures, not text. so i am trying my hand in posing in the same outfit in a number of photos to see where that gets me. this is obviously what you all want, so here goes nothing. don't say you didn't ask for it.

hey you guys. here is me. in my outfit. i'm not gonna change throughout this entire post. this is it. this is what i'm wearing. and you're going to ENJOY every single picture you see of me in the same outfit doing different poses because it's cool.

just chillin' in my apartment. this outfit is soooo boring to me. i mean mixing materials with other materials is so over, but it's just how i hang out. i can still rock overdone styles because i'm just, ya know, fashionable. i'll tell you the specifics of everything i'm wearing at the end of this post; just stick with me. it'll be worth it... promise (that last part was in a whisper).

this is just me hanging around my apartment complex. i don't have too many friends here, but it's whatever. i don't need friends who live in APARTMENTS. EW. i need friends who live in condos, lofts or actual mansions with lions guarding the front entrance. i know this outfit may LOOK like i'm poor and dirty, but i shower 3 times a day and am a trust fund baby. so suck it.

here are my accessories. any fool knows that no amazingly fashionable outfit is complete with miles and miles of accessories. literally miles. like, you should be able to take all your accessories off and lay them out in a straight line and create a full mile.

here's my boob and a crazy cool safari necklace. i'll tell you where it's from... IF YOU KEEP LOOKING AT ME, G*D DAMMIT!!!!

ugh. checking the mail is so blah. i hate doing it; i prefer getting only emails or texts ever (that's actually half true). i GUESS i'll take a peek inside my mail box.

oops, i dropped it all onto the ground. who needs mail when you have couture?

i know this picture is blurry, but why does it even matter? i'm just hanging out on the stairs. it's not a big deal.

ugh, i need a break. i mean it IS 100 degrees outside even at 9pm. i'm just gonna sit casually on this stoop and smile at the air. i mean at all my friends who are just waiting for me to be done so we can be fabulous together.

WHAT, fabulous friends?!!?? YOU'RE SO HILARIOUS IN THE MOST COUTURE WAY EVER. LET'S DRINK CHAMPAGNE.

one more serious shot. this photo shoot WASN'T funny. it was fashion.

pants: GAP, dress: contempo casual circa '96 (not a joke), top: BP nordstrom, headband: j.crew, shoes: piperlime, lipstick: mac's "lady danger," earrings: house of harlow, watch: michael kors DUH, bracelet: some smelly shop, ring: my mom's, necklace: my mom's, me as a whole: the beauty of mother nature.

hope you enjoyed. if you didn't, now you understand why i don't. if you did but because you got what i am saying and laughed, good. if you did for the actual fashion of it all, never come back to my blog again.

hugs!

- emma

 

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