the world this week, 9/20/12

good afternoon and welcome to today's broadcast of emma's thing.

although we're more than halfway through september (when the fuck did that happen?), the heat in dallas is relentless. temperatures continue to remain in the mid-90s, although they treat us kindly by starting the mornings off in the mid-60s. i don't know about you folks, but i have 100% said good-bye to my summer attire and plan to force the permanence of fall weather here one premature outfit at a time. observe:

good thing they keep my office semi-chilly so i don't look too insane in my sweater and boots. this is one of the highlights of working indoors all day long, in a tiny cube.

after seeing lena dunham's new and fabulous "do," i was inspired to write a thursday post highlighting what's gone on in the world of fashion, entertainment, and emma this week (it always comes back to me. always). sometimes when our weeks get so busy and our heads are too far up our asses to breathe normally for a second and take an interest in anything other than ourselves, it's nice to have someone like me to point out key ideas to you. i'm doing the work for you. i'm nice.

highlight 1:

lena dunham's new haircut.

look at this cutie:

you know i'm a sucker for red lipstick and red lipstick combined with a short haircut combined with the bitch who stole my life (read here) is enough to be front page news in emma world. it's amazing what a haircut can do for someone sometimes, especially when you go extreme pixie.  no one ever believes me, but my hair used to be a pixie cut... in 4th grade. i'm still working on remembering to ask my mom to find a picture of it for me so i can prove myself to you all. anyway, lena looks amazing and i cannot wait for season 2 of "GIRLS" to premiere in january (when my winter outfits will actually be acceptable to wear). oh! and girl got herself a new main squeeze:

that's right - he's the frontman of the band FUN. and CLEARLY loves matzah, probably is a hypochondriac and is good with money (i can say all that because i'm a chosen person). YAY for "GIRLS" finding love. or like. or just something to do for now, anyway.

highlight 2:

these two morons got hitched:

i just... why. WHY? many of you reading this won't agree with me, but i hate this and i hate them. firstly, ryan reynolds is pretty much the opposite of anything i find attractive in a guy (i.e. incredibly clean cut, freshly shaven, and fully american looking) AND blake is MY AGE. i often lose sight of how most actors and actresses ruling the entertainment scene day in and day out are my age. it freaks me the fuck out. it's upsetting enough that my best friend is engaged and getting married next year, I DON'T NEED ACTRESSES DOING IT, TOO. you're supposed to provide me with an escape from bible belt reality with your movies! not make it worse, you BITCH. the point here is, this is how i remember and will always remember blake:

that's right. sisterhood of the mother fucking traveling pants. SO GOOD. she was so innocent, so young. JUST LOOK AT DEM THIGHS!  just like lindsay lohan was before parent trap ended and then it was downhill forever. also, on ryan reynolds: how do you go from

mr. reynolds clearly has many tastes. let's hope he's settled on this flavor, though.

highlight 3:

MY FALL GIRL'S NIGHT! yay!!! i love hosting girl's nights at my place. it's probably one of my favorite things to do. organizing who's bringing what, how many of what we need and what time it's all happening? this shit was MADE for my OCD.

i meant to take pictures of every girl with the dish they brought, but i got a little distracted (aka drunk) and lost track of life. HOWEVER, emma never goes without instagram pictures so here are some highlights of this highlight:


so incredibly delicious and refreshing. you literally slice up apples, let riesling wine soak in their flavor for a few hours, pour champagne over the entire thing and GO TO TOWN. don't be jealous of my actual sangria pitcher - my friends are just awesome and gifted me with it for my birthday this year. here is the sangria recipe: sparkling apple sangria. my only suggestion? smash up the apples after the two hours is up to REALLY get those flavors flowing in your drank.


here's what the MOST AMAZING QUINOA EVER  (click those words for the recipe) looked like up close:

it's called "spicy diablo quinoa" and it. is. amazing. AND even better when piled into hollowed out tomatoes. observe:

 yes. we ate like queens this night. or pigs. either one. same difference, right? no? whatever. IT WAS ALL DELICIOUS AND WORTH IT.


i thought i'd give you all the tiniest bit of insight to my group of friends and how they are viewed by society and mainly myself:

highlight 4:

this cartoon i saw posted on STOPKONY2012'S facebook page (????????????????) and have showed everyone i know so now it's y'alls turned to see its hilarity:

highlight 5:

my new follower on instagram. he's dreamy and his name is Tre Pleasure. wink.

 is it wrong that this feels right? him following me? i have no idea what hashtag brought him to me. could've been #OOTD or #HIII! or #orgasm. but whatever it was, i think this was fate and i feel honored he likes my pictures. even my new boyfriend is supportive and aware of what this could be for tre pleasure and i:

 highlight 6:

this was too good not to share with the internet world. well, with MY internet world.

this is a text exchange between my jewish best friend and i. i was trying to be a good person and "take the pledge" by dictating my texts to my phone rather than text and drive (which is very bad indeed but we all do it and don't even look at me like you don't). you look and sound like a crazy person talking to your phone and over annunciating and it only gets better when Siri (or whoever the lady is inside there, taking notes) gets it totally wrong:

i was scream-laughing out loud in my car on the highway. SO REALLY, texting and driving is WAY safer than dictating and driving, guys. because at least when you're texting and using your thumbs, you don't completely screw it up and end up telling your friend that the tests came back and it turns out she's a Christian. i could've died or killed someone on the road from how hard i was laughing. SIRI'S A MURDERER!

that's all i got for this week. perhaps more next week?


- emma