Life Advice, Love, Emma.

In really thinking about it, Wednesday seemed like the perfect day of the week to deem as "Advice Day" on my blog. After all, it IS hump day - a day that needs a bit of a boost to get through. It's that part of the week where you're far enough away from Monday to feel more hopeful about life, but also still far enough away from Friday to ask the stupid, overused question: "Is it Friday yet?" Here's my impression of that:

No. You know it isn't. Keep your head down and get your shit done, then it'll be Friday.

Today's nugget of advice is as follows:

A few months ago, after my latest failed attempt at dating men, I did something wild - I got a second piercing in my left ear. Some people get tattoos after a breakup, some people get haircuts, some people get super fat or super skinny. I rebelled against the stereotypical post-breakup behaviors and decided to slut my ear up a bit.

emma's thing

For me, it was the little slice of wild I needed. While the right side of my face may say, "Hey, y'all! It's just me, Emma. I think I may just stay in this Friday, watch some Sopranos. Just started it on HBOGO and I am already hooked," I feel the left side of my face now says, "Hey hey, guys. I'm just the right amount of fun. We can makeout, but that's probably it for now. I love to party, but I also love to be in bed by midnight. I'm a rebel but with a few causes."

My mom and sister, of course, hated it. That's the conservative Jew in them, though. "When the hell did this happen?!" My mother exclaimed. "When did you decide to RUIN your ear?" "What the fuck, Emma? I can't," scoffed my sister. But, of course my girlfriends were all, "OMG I LOVE IT! Why haven't you had it forever?" I mean it's just a baby double pierce, y'all. It's not like I went total apeshit Miley, shaved half my head, threw on a red thong bodysuit, and got a case of the always-need-to-stick-my-tongue-outsies.

But, I digress. I want to share some advice with anyone and everyone with new or old piercings.


The main reason for piercing infections or stretched out piercing holes is not because of the weight or material-base of the earring, but the way you're clipping it into your ear?

You see, there's a little nook on the post of the earring. You've probably noticed it - it looks like this:

emma's thing

The back of the earring (the part that you slide on to actually lock it in place) is NOT TO PASS THAT NOOK. Not ever, for any reason. As paranoid, control freak women, it's a habit for us to press that back all the way up against our actual skin so we feel like that fucker is locked and loaded. "My earrings AIN'T GOIN' NOWHERE, Y'ALL!" But that's wrong. Pushing the back up that far is what

a) causes infections

b) causes your original tiny piercing hole to get bigger over the years - ew.

I knew none of this until I got my double-pierce and the crazy piercing woman whose hair is eerily similar to Estelle Costanza's commented on my "stretched out holes." Again, ew. Also, the plastic backs (pictured here) that come with so many earrings are probably the worst thing you can bring close to your ear - that is, besides a weiner.


I hope this tidbit helps in your present and future piercing endeavors. Or at least instilled in you how not okay it is to use the words "stretch" and "hole" in the same breath.



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