Ways to Get a Good Night's Sleep (That Doesn't Involve the TV)


The TV, you, and your bed - it's become a habit, I know. Or if not your TV, then definitely your laptop. In a world over-saturated with "series" and "originals," what does society expect from us? We work all day, so nighttime seems to be the right time to catch up on the all the drama, comedy, and overall entertainment. Falling asleep to the lullaby of characters' voices and background theme music has become second nature to a good majority of us, sadly. A few years ago, I got all serious about the whole "no TV in the bedroom," thing thinking it would help my situation, but I just ended up turning to my laptop for comfort. Being a (usually) single girl who lives alone, my laptop quickly became an integral part of my nighttime routine. That is, until recently. I got fed up, guys. I finally said ENOUGH of this falling asleep to the Griffin family's antics or Jerry's soothing voice (HAHA) or Walt's devious plans. These things should be saved for when I'm wide awake, at full attention, and not trying to be a healthy individual by getting to bed at a decent time (i.e. before midnight).

And guess what? Life is better (somewhat). Food tastes better. My steps are lighter (I've learned to really pick up my feet and not shuffle around). Here are some alternatives for falling asleep if you too have fallen victim to the downward spiral that is laptop-watching before bed.


That's pronounced Ree-DING. You may have forgotten what this is since books have seem to become obsolete in the last few years. But, in the traditional sense, it's when you buy a book (like a real live book with pages you can turn and whose spine you can hold), and sit and absorb its content from start to finish. In silence. In your home. With your eyes and brain. Yes, you may fall asleep after reading half a page. And yes, getting back into the habit of reading will be trying at first. If you're anything like me, you were a blossoming bookworm right around the same time you got a cell phone and then all bets were off. You got distracted by life and college and weiners and alcohol. But no more of that. It's time to get back to your reading roots. Need some book suggestions? I thought you'd never ask!

PicMonkey Collage1. The Circle by Dave Eggers, 2. Me Before You by Jojo Moyes, 3. Why Girls Are Weird by Pamela Ribon, 4. This Is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper, 5. Roses by Leila Meacham

Drinking tea.

Sounds silly and pretentious, I know. But I've found having a cup of hot tea before bed really does wonders to calm your system and get you to a better, more relaxed state. There's something about drinking hot herbs that almost forces your body to pause for a second and readjust itself. It's all "Hey! What is this?" And you're like, "IDK. Let's find together." Personally, I prefer the actual Sleepy Time Tea by Celestial Seasonings. It more or less tastes like mild peppermint, mixed with chamomile, mixed with another odd herb, and topped off with just a sprinkle of weed. Maybe it's all mental, but I've found this tea really does work when it comes to the bedtime wind-down. Buy yourself a package and give it a try. If nothing else, you'll feel all British and fancy sipping on hot tea in bed at night. That's gotta be worth something and you can fank me for it later.

Have relations with yourself or others.

No, really. If you're coupled, make it a habit to touch each other before bed. After all, they say the bedroom should be only for sex and sleeping. So why not do one before you do the other? You get off (hopefully) and get to bask in the glory of your healthy sex life! Sounds like a win-win to me. If you're not coupled, well. You know the drill. Maybe not every night, but on the nights you really can't get to sleep, maybe hooking up with yourself is the answer you need to fall asleep faster and harder. Faster and harder. Ha! HAHA. Regardless of your relationship status, sexual anything before bedtime is always a great option to wear you out and make the necessity for TV or a laptop futile. I was once told that a man should almost immediately fall asleep after sex if you guys are doing it right. So. Maybe take a second to think about that and have a panic attack and question your entire relationship.

im out

Write some stuff.

Even if you're not a writer by trade, it can be extremely therapeutic to take a few minutes out of your daily 9-5 routine and write. Write about and recap your day: what was good and what was terrible? Did something funny happen? Did your office crush make eyes at you? Did you hear some office gossip you wouldn't dare breathe about but need to write it down somewhere? If you just sit and think for a second, I have no doubt you'd be able to come up with some ponderings to record in a cute little notebook. Or a sleek, manly Moleskine. We don't use pens/pencils on paper enough anymore. It's a dying art and it's sad. Do you even remember how to write? Probably not. You should try, like, tonight. Just to make sure you haven't forgotten. You may find you really enjoy it and like the idea of having a log of your thoughts - no matter how crazy or pointless they probably are and how terrified and SOL you'd be were someone to find them.

Phone a friend.

Another behavior that's become antiquated? Talking on the phone. Actually picking up your cell phone and dialing someone's number rather than texting them or flirting with them by way of social media. When was the last time you sat on the phone for more than 30 minutes, shooting the shit with somebody? Yeah, I know. A long time, right? Instead of texting your crush until midnight or talking shit with your bestie over text, suggest an actual phone call. GASP! What's this? This device actually connects my voice to someone else's voice on the other end? #TECHNOLOGY. It may be super awkward at first whether it's a friend or a prospect for lurve, but it's only because you guys are out of practice when it comes to your vocal chords and using them  in any way besides in person. Go ahead. Give it a try. I dare you.

Play on your phone until you pass out.

What? I never said anything about no cell phones. Tweet, 'gram, 'book, and go through old photos until your little eyes grow too heavy to continue stalking and you give into sleep.