5 Things I Want To Push On You Today
Sometimes, nouns (people/places/things) come into my life that I feel compelled to share with whoever will listen to me. So today, I'm going to push my latest loves on my readers because I'm a pusher. I push people. I pushed my husband into law school - that was a bust. I pushed myself into working three jobs. And now I'm gonna push you.
Evol. meals. That's "love" backwards, which I didn't realize until the other day when my friend was all "I brought a love meal for lunch," and wondered to myself what that is, then realized - oh. It's my beloved Evol. freezer meals. I know that, in general, frozen piles of noodles and "fresh" vegetables thawed out rapidly in the microwave is a pretty huge turn-off. However, freezer meals are necessary for your laziest days and these actually taste, well, like something. Most warm-up meals smell 1000x better than they taste, but I'm happy to report that the ratio with the Evol. meals (i.e. smell to taste) is pretty even. Personally? I suggest the truffle mac&cheese and the ziti bolognese. Duh.
NARS lipstick. I'm a MAC girl - always have been, most likely always will be probably. But every now and again, a new lipstick is introduced to me (usually via the 36 fashion bloggers I follow on Instagram) and I'm compelled to get out of the boat and try something new. When I look for new lipstick, it's never about how long it lasts and how much it can endure throughout the day. I'm pretty much incapable of keeping it on through meals and coffee and water and life anyway. So durability isn't one of my lipstick qualifications. For me, it's about vibrancy of color and texture. Therefore, I approve of and recommend NARS' line of semi-matte lipsticks. Not so dry that you have to apply chapstick beforehand and not so glossy that it's surfboardin' all over your lips. My personal favorite? Jungle Red - it's one of the most perfect reds I've ever found.
Double-stud earrings. These are a godsend from the fashion heavens, IMO.
I was first introduced to this species of earrings from my close friend and impossibly perfect fashion blogger, Fashion Jackson. Whoever originally crafted this beauty of a jewelry piece is a certified genius (yes, I'm semi-aware that it was Christian Dior first. Maybe. Definitely?). DOUBLE studs?! Not only is the look sickeningly cool, but the smaller, front stud can be replaced with virtually any other previously-owned stud in your collection! Meaning, new earring combinations are endless! Go get you some.
Project Social T clothing is like sex on your body without the mess and emotions. I came across their product on one of my (now very infrequent) visits to Urban Outfitters. I saw the t-shirt from afar, got closer, touched it, and had an orgasm in the middle of the sales floor. It was super awkward. They refer to their attire as "elevated basics" - everyday clothing with just enough sprinkling of badass that you hang it instead of fold it and treat it better than most of your other basics. So far, I own two t-shirts, one tank top, and very recently, just invested in this:
No, that's not me - but isn't the resemblance UNCANNY? That's a pullover, cape-like, baby-butt-soft, hoody contraption. And it. Is. Everything. This brand is incredible - nothing you order/buy in store will disappoint. And if it does, you're wrong.
Lauren Lapkus is possibly the most incredible gem of a funny woman in a long time. Don't know who I'm talking about? I'm not surprised - she's not the flashy type. If you have good taste and watch worthy shows, you will recognize her as the mousey CO from "Orange is the New Black":
She tends to lay low, you know - stays under the comedy radar. That is, unless you're hip and in the know like me, then she's your everything. She's fully embedded into the LA Improv scene, performing with super popular troupes via Upright Citizens Brigade (e.g. ASSSSCAT and Bangarang!), and makes appearances on well-known hilarity like "Key and Peele" and "Drunk History." Basically, she's a baller. And, as of a few weeks ago, launched her newest comedy endeavor - a podcast called "With Special Guest Lauren Lapkus." The premise of the podcast is the essence of comedy gold: although she's technically the host, she's never really the host. The guest is the host and Lauren acts as the guest, flexing her improvisational skills each episode. The theme song lyrics go like this:
She's the host, but she's always the guest. And the guest is the host, so she's not really the host. It's "With Special Guest Lauren Lapkus." With your host and somebody else.
It's all improvised, it's all hysterical, and the best part? Lauren and her host/guest constantly break character and snigger into the microphone at their own hilarity. One installment involved 30 seconds of her and the host/guest sipping water from their glasses as loudly as they could into the microphone. Please - just go listen.