There Are 46 Types Of People In The World
I love doing these posts because I literally never run of material. LITERALLY NEVER.
There are two types of people in the world, y'all...
Those that consider a cup of coffee breakfast and those that grew out of this childish behavior a few years ago, realizing how terrible they felt around 11am due to their stomach having blazed through last night's pizza leftovers and is in dire need of refueling of whatever the fuck you managed to pack for lunch today, like, NOW.
Those that file everyone they know on their phone under nicknames with emojis and those that are staunch believers in First and Last Name only.
Those that keep their read receipts on and those that what in the actual fuck are you doing? You know you can turn those off, right? Or are you borderline sociopathic and get off on those you communicate with knowing whether or not you've bothered to bother with them? You're a terrible person.
Those that refill their own water bottle during the day at work and those that find terrible, wasteful, vain joy in buying 1 liter bottles to swig from throughout the day (I do both. Just depends on my mood).
Those that get hangry and those that clearly don't love food enough to let it affect their every mood, thus meaning they suck and have probably talked to you about juicing.
Those that keep lists of who they've done what with sexually and those that are more normal people but maybe not as fun and anal and fun to make fun of for being so anal but so entertaining.
Those that think it's sexual when men button all the way up to their top buttons if they can pull it off and those that CLEARLY don't understand the sex appeal of fully buttoned button-ups on men.
Those that bring their lunch and those that somehow can afford fiscally and physically to eat out every day? I don't understand. I would be 200 pounds and broke as a motherfucking joke. Also, sometimes homemade sandwiches are the best until you eat them too many days in a row and hate your life and everything about it.
Those that can listen to music while remaining completely still and those that make everyone around them homicidal with their foot-tapping, tiny shoulder dance moves, or random outbursts of humming/whistling.
Those that stay behind the line and those that cross it constantly and are better people for it.
Those that act like every single dog ever is the cutest thing they've ever seen even if they have their own and those with no soul.
Those that brush their teeth twice a day (or more) and those that oops, I maybe forgot my am/pm brushing.
Those that cannot handle any type of stress and those that are incredible at faking it but explode or implode later in an ugly way.
Those that know what it means to feel some type of way and those that are not "with it" and probably emotionally unavailable on multiple levels.
Those that appreciate and partake in the perfect marriage of pizza and cold beer and those that don't think they go together and are wrong.
Those that dance only when wasted and those that dance literally any time, anywhere, in any mental state.
Those that work to party and those that work to get home, take off their pants, and hunker down hard AF.
Those that save money for "experiences" and those that need those booties and that top and this jacket and these earrings and all that restaurant food NOW.
Those that enjoy falling back for daylight savings and those who, at 6pm, are like "Welp, it's midnight. Life life is over for today. I'm going to bed."
Those that run full-speed through the rain to get to shelter and those that yell after them, "WHY ARE YOU RUNNING? YOU'RE JUST GETTING WETTER FASTER" (that's what HE said...? Maybe. Idk).
Those that get their car washed on the reg and those that wonder who the fuck has time for that.
Those that recycle and those that refuse to believe it's ultimately actually all getting sorted out.
Those that work hard, play hard and those that work hard, Netflix&Chill on their own THE HARDEST.
Those that binge watch shows until it's all done and they're empty and depressed and those that take their time because I guess have better things to do, but I wouldn't know what that's like so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.