Not Your Ordinary Holiday Gift Ideas
I don't know how to do gifts. Usually, I just take a general consensus of a person, highlight a few characteristics I feel define them, and go from there. Sure, it's nice when they've explicitly expressed interest in an item they've been coveting, but that doesn't always happen. And, if it does, you aren't always paying attention. In fact, you probably aren't because you're a selfish, self-involved asshole who never takes notes (literal or mental).
So, with the holiday shopping season in full swing, I decided to share with you all some things I've obtained as of late that may or may not suit someone you're expected to gift this year. Or maybe you'll like them for yourself and, in that case, you're for sure a self-involved asshole but I dig you for it.
Some gifts to keep in mind
Cute winter socks
Because duh. They're easy, they're fun, they're cozy, and if you have a friend who has the gall to reject an adorable pair of socks, you probably need to rethink the entire friendship. A solid sock game speaks volumes, and you're just helping them turn it up to 11.
Who the fuck wants a string smacking you in the chest and face during your workout anymore? It's terrible. It's like walking through a swarm of nats. Why would anyone opt for earbuds you have to plug in and attach your entire left or right arm to when you can be handsfree and full of music? I just got these from Amazon (pictured below) and they are exceptional. Noise-canceling so you don't have to hear beefy bros grunting on the lat machine, sturdy so they're not constantly falling out of your delicate, sweaty ear holes, and easy as pie to setup and operate for the less tech-savvy folk.
Custom phone case
It's very possible that the reason I'm single is because of my phone case. But if you can't handle my beautiful, precious daughter staring at you as I talk on the phone or lay my phone screen-down on the table, you don't deserve her or me in person. Casetify allows you to choose from a number of pre-made cases other customers have created, or design your own. You can take any photo off your Instagram or from your sketchy iPhoto library and slap it on a case. This is my current case — and yes, it's available for purchase if you want my dog on your phone.
These headbands from Fitness Fox are all real cute, real cheap, and real useful. Also, you DO NOT have to wear them as wide as the models do. That's just weird. I sort of fold mine in half, in a way. Regardless, they're great.
If your girlfriends are anything like mine, they admire lipstick. They want to do lipstick. They try to do lipstick. But they get nervous and give up. If you're close enough to one of your girlfriends to buy her lip rouge and help ease her into the process of gussying herself up a bit more, Jungle Red by NARS and Speak Louder by MAC are a red and pink I refuse to believe don't look great on every mouth.
Eleanor & Park
I've been reading a lot lately. I read more when I'm single on account of being alone in bed most nights of the week. Falling asleep to Rory and Lorelei doesn't get old, per se, but sometimes I need to switch it up by using my brain to read words, you know? Eleanor & Park is a novel I just finished last week and loved so, so hard. It's not for everyone; it's about teen love, essentially. So if you didn't experience all the feels that come with your first "real" boyfriend or girlfriend, this book won't speak to you like it did to me. If you did have the honor as a ripe teenager to feel like your body was going to implode from the mere touch of someone's hand or that you were made of electricity when you first felt skin on skin, this book is for you. It's a beautiful story of first love, and Rainbow Rowell (author) pens it in such a way, you want to/do feel like a teenager again.
A new toothbrush
Do you have someone in your life who still uses a manual brush? Why? No, like, why are they in your life? I'll let it slide for now because I need to finish this gift idea, but don't think I'm not judging. This new electric toothbrush from quip is so chic, so pretty, so cool, and perfect for your tech-savvy friends who also happen to get excited over new teeth technology. Or just have really immaculate bathrooms in which this brush would look phenomenal. You pay a flat rate for the brush and get new toothbrush heads and toothpaste for months following. And. AND. You can choose the color of the brush. Everything about this product is unnecessary, but SO PRETTY.
YETI koozies and tumblers
You've heard of the YETI cooler, of course. It keeps shit colder than cold. It's also expensive as hell. So here's a solution: get a smaller, handheld version. YETI has koozies and tumblers and all sorts of crazy-insulated containers to keep your shit cold or hot AF. This gift is perfect for a boyfriend, a fiancé, a dad, a stepdad, a boy cousin, a dude you're "hanging out" with but not official with yet, a fuck buddy, your boss, that same dude you're "hanging out" with but only after you've discussed whether or not you're exchanging any sort of gifts at Christmas but then like what if asking that makes things so awkward and scares him off? Maybe don't ask. Just get it and have it and, once you've read the situation, make an executive decision.
Okay. That's it. That's all I've got, gift ideas wise. Hopefully they helped? If they didn't, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯