Getting Older: The Good, The Bad, The Annoying

Knowing myself, I really thought I'd prolong a major freakout about turning 30 since I almost always take the dramatic approach to any life event. Surprisingly though, I've been relatively calm AF about it before, during, and now. In all honesty, I just try not to think about it? Like the literal number. If I say I'm 30 out loud, I dry heave a little bit so I just avoid stating it. However, I will say there's a certain power behind being out of my 20s. Before, when I was 28/29, I would cluck my tongue at and pity those in their early 20s. "They have no idea," I'd think to myself (or probably just say out loud to the young'n 'cause I'm annoying that way). But now, anyone under 30 is a clueless infant child who I want to cradle in my arms and guide through the weirdest decade of life. 

All this brings to me to today's post, which is a study in the pros and cons of getting "old" because there are a lot and they need to be discussed in an open forum.

Sure, when you're young, it's fun to shop at Forever 21 for whatever you're going to wear out that very night and probably never wear again. But when you're older, it sucks to clean out your "younger" closet and literally see and feel all the money you wasted on cheap dresses and tops that got you nothing more than a makeout with a gross dude whose name you don't remember, a poor-quality group photo that you threw the Mayfair filter on, and probably some late night Taco Bell that you're still trying to work off six years later.

On the up side, though, it's pretty nice to now live in a home you've crafted just to your liking and filled with knick knacks and furniture that aren't hand-me-downs and everything is completely your style. You finally have an Instagram-worthy living room. You've created your first real habitat and it feels amazing. But it sucks that, at 30+, you only have like two friends anymore to even invite over for a house party to celebrate your impressive home. 

And like yeah — it's great that you can now actually really truly afford fancier meals out on the town with your friends (Bottles of wine! Oysters! Steak!), but it sucks that you can't stomach hip 9pm dinners anymore because your indigestion is a bitch and lasts a solid 18 hours post-meal. Not to mention that the wine, oysters, and steak don't magically melt off your body anymore, but we'll get to that later. 

What's great is, you're about 25x better at all things sex now that you're a mature, experienced adult. You know what's up, what's down, what's good, and what's great. But what sucks is that the mere idea of letting another one in just means another notch on your belt that you never thought would get this long and that'll most likely lead nowhere makes you sad but instantly (like, literally I just got so tired even thinking about it).

It's super awesome that you've finally nailed down an epic and flawless skincare routine that you're consistently diligent about night after night and, from which, you've seen nothing but fantastic results but sad that said routine takes roughly a half-hour and has you exhausted and in bed lotioning your hands like a 95-year-old around 9:05 most weeknights. 

It's the best that the days of worrying about purchasing alcohol legally are but a faint memory, but sucks that you've reached a point where you have to very responsibly decide whether you're drinking this week or not and, if you are, just a glass of wine with dinner since you have to get up in the morning for your 9am conference call that you're leading.

And yeah, it's a delight that you're at your healthiest and maintain a balanced diet, work out regularly because your body responds to it and will turn on you as soon as you stop, and make conscious decisions about your well-being every day you would've never considered in the past, but... no wait. All that sucks balls and you wish you could just eat whatever again and know it's gonna fall right off like a snake shedding its skin. But guess what, bitch? 30+ YEAR OLDS DON'T SHED SKIN. THEY GET MORE OF IT AND HAVE TO FIGURE OUT TO SLOUGH IT OFF OR TIGHTEN IT UP. 

Oh, but clothing-wise, being 30+ is pretty cool. You've refined your style and wardrobe and are way more into investment pieces and basics than cheap, trendy one-offs. You're tasteful. However, it makes you sad that you have nowhere but work or home in front of your dog to show off your evolved and mature clothing choices so you litter your own Instagram feed with #OOTDs because someone other than your best friends, mom, and coworkers need to ogle your new finds (I just let you in on my psyche behind OOTDs).

You're so proud of your green thumb and your ability to not only plant flowers and vegetables but also enjoy the fruits of their labor, but sad that this is where you find joy now. In your garden. In your little, secret garden that 23-year-old you would've scoffed at and called yourself a "fucking weirdo" for having.

You love waking up early on weekends and having full days because your internal clock is now set at 8am forever and always, but it's sad that sometimes you don't know what to do with your life or yourself once the 2-4pm block rolls around since you've already accomplished so much and day drinking is a tri-monthly occurrence anymore (maybe I need another dog?).

I could keep going, but I want to hear what you consider the good, the bad, and the annoying about getting "older." Comment at me, babies!