My 10 Summer Essentials

Summa, summa, summa time. It's here. It's happening. Spring was like "Hey! I can't stay super long. I have a thing, but let's grab a drink at least" and then it was gone. Before we knew it, we were getting slapped in the face, crotch, and armpits with 90º+ heat and scrambling to buy whatever swimsuit didn't make us feel extra terrible and a few, cute throwaway summer tops because, naturally, we hate everything we got last summer. For now, this is my summer uniform:

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SKIRT // TANK // SLIDES // NECKLACES // EARRINGS // LIPSTICK (IN LADY DANGER)

Real quick, here's the DL on me and this season. I love summer for what it stands for (late sunsets, late nights, late periods (JK), freezing cold beer, the pool, tan lines, heightened sex appeal, grilled burgers, the freedom to use "It's summer!" as an excuse for basically anything), but as a girl who sweats PROFUSELY, I hate it. So, every year, it's a conundrum for me. A push and pull, if you will — I'm pushing to be the first one out at the pool, but pulling my clothing away from my body constantly because IT'S PROBABLY STICKING TO ME AND CREATING SWEAT STAINS.

But enough about my disgusting issues. This post is about what I deem essential items that you need in your life during the most fun but grueling time of the year: SUMMATIME. 

1. Deodorant Wipes

I found these Swipe wipes a few summers ago and haven't ever strayed. I forget how I discovered them, but thank God I did, because they have LITERALLY saved me from being banned from most public places during the summertime so many times. Use them on your pits, your crotch, your... IDK. Whatever! They have a nice, fresh smell and actually help in wiping away the day's summer stuff if you don't have the opportunity to shower. I always have one in my purse during the summer.

2. SOME SUNGLASSES (OR A HAT)

I'm not a big sunglasses person. I used to be, then I realized I wasn't loyal enough to the principle of wearing them every day, so I stopped buying so many. However, sunglasses during the summertime are a must unless you want to go blind or walk around with that squished up, I-can't-see face. I've had these Ray-Bans for almost a year now which is WILD because I never buy nice sunglasses because I don't trust myself because I've made mistakes before, but here we are — a year later and still in my possession! I love them very much. The aviator element separates them from those other round ones EVERYONE has and makes them cooler (IMO). However, I'm also not mad at these heart-shaped fun ones that are a direct knock-off of the Saint Laurent ones. I mean, go for those if that's your thing, but I think a $5 lookalike sounds sexy AF.

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Also, a great alternative to sunglasses? A hat! But not one of those beach hats because I don't wear those and I'm going to sit here and pretend I do just to come off cuter to you. I'm talking about the best hat ever — the "Doing Things" hat by Outdoor Voices

Outdoor Voices > lululemon for a lot of reasons, but most especially this hat. I'm not a big hat girl but the color, the fit, and the best, most general but oddly specific phrase are all perfect. If you've been flirting with getting one, get one and wear it well.

3. CUTE ASS POOL/BEACH TOWELS

Sure, it's easy to get used to that raggedy old pool towel you've had since you don't know when and can't even remember how it came into your possession (probably after a long day of drinking at the pool and getting towels mixed up and not caring enough to ever return it to its rightful owner). We don't put much thought into beach/pool towels because our main concern is typically WTF we're going to wear and feel comfortable in while laying on that towel. However, every so often it's fun to buy a new one, which begs the question: Have we discussed Society6? No? Ok, well it's Urban Outfitter's art site (at least it was when it first started) and it's incredible. It's all custom art done by artists all over, and literally any sort of art, pop culture, television, movie, WHATEVER you're into — they more than likely have a design for it. Not only can you order prints, phone cases, laptop cases, stationary, clothes, etc., but they also now do beach towels, serving trays, cutting boards — THE LIST IS ENDLESS. I have a few Seinfeld things from them, and it's the best site when you're lost on what to gift someone, too. Anyway, their beach towel selection is 100 pages long, but I pulled some I personally love for you to gawk at. But, please — do yourself a favor and type in your own interests and see what amazing designs they spit back out at you.

Also, this cutie from H&M deserves a shoutout because come on. 

4. BATHING SUITS

I mean, duh. But honestly guys, swimsuits are so fucking personal that I'm not even gonna try and round any up for y'all. It's so hit or miss that you really just have to talk yourself into going, maybe take a shot beforehand or bring a flask, and try a few on. And, if you end up crying, it's normal and you are not alone. The only FANTASTIC swimsuit I've found for myself so far this summer is this baby from Old Navy. Other than that, I'm still rocking last year's styles and ya know what? I'm okay with that. 

5. THE GREEN LIPSTICK

I wrote all about this on my greatest buys from Amazon post but just in case you missed it, here it is again. This aloe-based lipstick is truly wonderful. The Man Repeller tipped me off to it years ago, and I've been ordering it from Amazon ever since. It looks green BUT GOES ON PINK and, more than that, it acts more like a stain than a lipstick. So, eating and drinking throughout the day won't disturb it at all — it'll actually make it look even more natural because it will appear as though your lips are normally tinted that way. Plus, an entire pack of it is like $6 so you can literally keep one in every bag you might carry so you're never without it. Or hand it out to your friends. Either/or. 

6. A SERIOUSLY INSULATED BEVERAGE HOLDER 

Don't hand me a room temp water bottle during the summer or I WILL cut you. Ice cold beverages are always my preference, but especially during the summertime. Don't come at me with beer that's not just above freezing temp or a cocktail with barely enough ice — I WILL FREAK OUT. But, seriously. Having a legit, vacuum sealed, insulated beverage holding device is non-negotiable when it comes to summer. Personally, I love my Hydro Flask. Yes, it's a bit pricer but it has 5 stars for good reason — it actually keeps things freezing cold (or hot) for forever. And, because of this, you can fill this shit up with water for a day of 100º errands and it'll keep you cool between running in and out of Target, the grocery store, the gym, an impromptu ice cream run, a day at the pool — WHATEVER. But if you want a less expensive option, RTIC (the makers of Yeti's way more affordable drinkware line, which I've mentioned 100 times before) product is fantastic. I have a few tumblers, and they also keep things ice cold all day long. And speaking of all this drinkware...

7. STAINLESS STEEL STRAWS

I replaced my box of plastic straws with these over a year ago, and now that so many restaurants are inciting a "No More Straws" rule, I'm all like "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?" But seriously — stainless steel straws are the only way to go, IMO. Especially inside your own home. Plus, they come bent or straight which is fun. Just don't lose the cleaner that comes with them because you will need that thing to ensure you get all smoothie remnants out (note: the dishwasher doesn't do shit for your straws. You will end up trusting it got cleaned, then sucking down a 5-day old chunk of smoothie and vomiting. Trust me. I know). Also, they're $9 for 8 straws s0o0o0o0o...

8. COOLING BANDANA FOR FIDO

Did you know they make cooling bandanas for dogs? Neither did I until recently. I love my walks with Cece, but if I'm not up and out there before 11am, it's just cruel to walk her in this heat. Never fear, though! This nifty cooling bandana helps immensely. Even if you don't do walk and just want to sit outside with your baybee or if you're trying to tan in the backyard, but they're scream-crying and scratching at the back door because you won't let them join you since it's so hot out (looking at you, Cece). 

9. BEACH/POOL READS

I used to be very into the tired, throwaway rom-com, summertime books. But now that I'm a grown ass woman, I've matured and so have my tastes in literature. Thusly why it takes me 6 months to a year to finish a book, because I'm just SO mature that I really take my time with all the words, sentences, syntax, plot lines, character development, etc ya know? Anyway, here are four book recs I have to offer you. Just wear sunglasses or that hat while you read so I don't feel guilty for you going blind.

10. POOL SLIDES

Slide to the left, slide to the right. CRISS CROSS! EVERYBODY CLAP YOUR HANDS 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 So, slides are V in right now, which is great news to me because I fucking love a slide. There's just something way more sleek about wearing a sexy slide out to the pool rather than a flip flop. Personally, I have two pool slides I'm working with this summer: my trusty Cloudfoam adidas slides that are quite literally like walking on a cloud (or so I would imagine), and some white VINCE. slides that I found on WAY SALE at Nordstrom (like CRAZY sale) but can't find on sale anywhere else, so I found a few lookalikes for your consideration. Oh, and do I even have to mention the best, easiest brown slides from Target that I've been wearing the shit out of? I think I already need a second pair tbh.

With these 10 essentials, you should be set for summer. Of course, you'll still encounter sweat, mosquitos, and probably some minimal weight gain from all the cold beer and froyo, but what would summer be without that?

See you at the pool maybe,

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