2019 SPRING TRENDS (ACCORDING TO OTHERS AS TOLD BY ME)

I started off last week in a very down mood. My anxiety and depressive tendencies were rampant. I have my personal reasons (most of which I’m suppressing deep down inside me because thinking about them all at once overwhelms me and makes my chest tight), but after posting about my state on Instagram on Monday, I got enough “OMG same here” responses that it made me realize maybe this anxious, upset, blah mood is just going around?

And it makes sense. We’re at the tail end of winter. By now, everyone’s had enough. I’m a self-proclaimed lover of cold weather, but even I start to become weary of wearing yet another sweater and facing yet another grey day. And this time of year is the world’s (or at least the U.S.’s) embodiment of purgatory. It’s not cold enough to still be wearing big coats and cuddling up with warm drinks and basking in the coziness, but it’s also not warm enough to be sitting outside on a patio, in a light sweater, enjoying a cool beverage. It’s somewhere in between the two, and it causes a lot of confusion and frustration.

At this point, resolutioners are beginning to tire of working out so hard and eating so well. They’ve been at it for 2 months now, and they’re ready to show off the goods (after all, we are living in a time that almost exclusively operates on instant gratification). But grey days and constantly shifting temperatures make it near impossible, so they keep eating their salads and doing their squats reluctantly with pouts on their faces.

People coming out of winter breakups are itching to start a new spring fling (Hi), and couples are ready to see each other in a new, warmer, sunnier light of day. Bank accounts are starting to rebuild since the great Christmas hemorrhage, spring break for students, teachers, and parents is so close they can taste it (tastes like sand and sun or maybe just a nice glass of wine and a book), and women are starting the great search for a new pair of jean shorts that don’t ride so far up their crotch, they can’t breathe.

Basically, everyone’s in a bad mood and spring needs to get sprung ASAP.

But until then, I figured why not get ready for the inevitable arrival of the best season (which also happens to be my birthday season, NBD) by going over what’s trending for spring? After all, nothing makes me feel happier and warmer than shopping (and yes — I’m aware that retail therapy is a real addiction (and Ari’s new addiction), but I am who I am).

Now, I’m no highfalutin fashion guru and most runway shows confuse and bore me. But, supposedly, the clothes that walk down those runways are often foreshadowing of trends to come. So with that in mind, these are the predicted trends for spring 2019 with my two cents weaved in.

Bucket Hats

Absolutely fuck no. I won’t have it. This is the tiny sunglasses trend of 2019, and I didn’t give into that trend and, as God as my witness, I won’t give into this one either. If I see you with a bucket hat on, I will promptly take it off of you, vomit it in, and put it back on your head.

Suiting

Meaning, suits but in the form of shorts, skirts, etc. After a brief google search of what the greater fashionista population means when they say suits, I can FOR SURE get into this. In fact, I already want all of these. Just has to be the right fit, otherwise you end up feeling like a middle-age salesman with a beer gut and sweaty back.

Barely There Sandals

Mmm, I don’t know. This will be a game time decision for me. It’s very 90s, and I know 90s have been coming back for a few years now, but I have a somewhat adverse reaction to tiny, thin straps on shoes. In fact, when I tried searching for this trend, barely anything similar to the runway looks came up, so I think the whole world is hesitant about this trend. I like a nice wedge with thick, brown suede straps (like these that I have my eye on my spring), but maybe I’ll come around. Doubtful though.

Tie-Dye

Ok YES. I never got over tie-dye, so to know that it’s going to be trending this season has got me FIRED UP. And there are so many playful options out there already. LFG.

Belt Bags

Hell yes. For a second there, it looked like they were going away, so I’m very glad to hear the Powers That Be have deemed them cool enough to stay around our waists for the duration of 2019, because they are handy as hell. If you’ve yet to give the trend a try, I suggest it. Handsfree is the only way to be, and what else do you truly need anymore besides your phone, lipstick, card, and keys (and maybe a backup Ativan JUST IN CASE).

Boiler Suits

Wut? So, like, just panted and long-sleeved jumpsuits? Why can’t we just call them that? Why boiler suits? It literally makes me sweat just hearing the term, and I don’t want to sweat in an adorable jumpsuit – I want to thrive. But, yes — I’m down to clown with so-called “boiler suits.” With sandals and a cute neck or hair scarf? GTFOOH.

Leather

IDK. That’s fine if you’re into leather, but I really can’t get into it past jackets and maybe a skirt. Blazers and dresses and shirts and pants in leather-form, again, make me sweat just writing it out. Except the faux leather Spanx leggings because those are just a fantastic product no matter what your feelings are on leather.

Head-to-Toe Neutrals

HELL YES. While I understand this look might be hard for paler people to pull off (alliteration!), I am ABOUT this trend. Not only because it’s so insanely simple to put together and pull off, but it’s just chic as all get out. It’s all about pairing basics together, which you can find just about anywhere but here are some prime ones.

Bike Shorts

ANOTHER HELL YEAH FROM ME, BRO. Fucking LOVE biker shorts in all shapes and sizes. In fact, I’ve been wearing them under dresses and skirts for years to hide my summer-sweat. But I love wearing them on their own, too and with the selection I’m already seeing for this year, I will.

Pale Blue

Probably the least exciting emerging trend this season, but you can’t be mad at it. I am into this being the color of spring. Playful yet classy. Bright yet understated. Pretty yet dull. I’m on board.

There you have it , guys. The 2019 spring trends brought to by me but stolen from other intel. All I know is, spring needs to hurry the fuck up and get here, because my body and my wallet are ready.

xox,

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