To All The Ungrateful, Entitled Influencers & Bloggers: STFU

If you follow me on Instagram, you'll remember last week when I was alerted to an influencer/blogger who popped off about how annoying it was getting messages from her followers, inquiring where she gets her tank tops and couches from. She went on and on about how surface-level it all is. That she was tired of "grabby DMs" — DMs that are asking for something or some sort of information. She actually said, and I quote: "Find your own tank top! Find your own style!" She was also posting screenshots of followers asking her what she deemed worthless, stupid questions AND DIDN'T COVER THEIR NAMES. And as if all this wasn't bad enough, she then brought the patriarchy into her argument. That's when I knew this bitch was off her mother fucking rocker. JK — I knew as soon as I saw her because she does that thing where she smiles when she's angry/making a point and if that's not a high sign of instability, I don't know what is.

Naturally, her rant triggered me HARD for countless reasons. It should be noted that this gal posts style/OOTD/home decor pictures ALL THE TIME, is a full-time blogger, and thinks posting one or two verbose captions or a typography image of a women empowerment quote makes her WOKE. Yet she has the audacity to be annoyed, shocked, angry with, and disgusted by followers who happen to dig her style enough to want to reach out and engage with her in hopes of connecting. 

And all I can say is FUCK THAT. If there's anything I CAN'T with, it's ungrateful influencers, so it’s time they get called out for who they truly are — assholes. They’re assholes.

Here’s my thing: While I’ve had my blog going for 8+ years, I realize I didn’t really buckle down and put the extra effort in until this past August. But since then, it’s become my full-time side hustle, and lemme tell y’all — IT’S A LOT. Even though I’m not famous, haven't even broken 5k followers, and have yet to be approached by any big-name brands to collaborate with, putting in the work to get there one day isn’t for the faint of heart (which 50% of me is). As an influencer, you have so much working against you already: algorithms, favoritism, limits on reach, being drowned out by every other red-blooded female across the world who also wants to be seen, heard, read, and liked.

Add to that my specific hurdles with not being a fashion blogger, not being employed in an editorial role that automatically offers me more reach, not being willing to participate in chain plugs where you have to like 28 other accounts and tag 63 friends to enter a contest, and being a true writer who wants you to actually read my blog instead of just liking my pictures and flipping through my site like a picture book.

Shit’s hard.

That’s why, when influencers with 2x, 5x, 100x the following I have, have the audacity to gripe about it... Well.


And, yeah. I get that at the end of the day, it’s still a job that you take seriously. But also? Being an influencer/blogger is an audience-driven job that YOU CHOSE TO MAKE YOUR CAREER. So get the fuck ready to interact and engage with your audience on the daily, even if their questions are redundant, annoying, have no finesse, or are down-right creepy. We put ourselves out there because that’s what the entire gig is about — exposure and connection. And with all the competition via hundreds of thousands of other influencers wanting to be found and heard in the social media realm, you should count every follower and message you get as a GD blessing because it means they’ve chosen to engage with YOU over so many others and that’s the biggest compliment an influencer can ask for.

And here’s the other, bigger thing: Please consider how much social media has blown up. What it’s become. How many people rely on it for entertainment, information, recommendations, news and, of course, keeping tabs on WTF their ex is up to and falling down deep rabbit holes where you find yourself on a complete stranger's page, looking at their X-PRO II & Lo-Fi-filtered pictures from 2010. You and your followers alike are victims to being virtually attacked by pictures on pictures on captions on memes on gifs on video on Insta polls at a rapid speed every single second of every single day. So, if you’ve posted the same lipstick, shower shelves, pajamas, or recipe for a smoothie 100 times and someone is still messaging you asking where you got it or how you make it, then guess what?


Let me knock your entitled, ungrateful self down off your own pedestal here for a second and let you know that your followers, no matter how much they love you, aren’t sitting down every time a new post or story goes up, taking copious notes on everything you say, write, recommend, or breathe. Attention spans today are shorter than the microdick I legitimately saw with my own two eyes years ago (that'll be a chapter in my book, don't worry). The general Instagrammer follows God knows how many other accounts that are slapping them in the face and vying for their attention, making it next to impossible to remember the golden nuggets everyone has to offer. Therefore, dare not lecture or scold them for asking you about the jacket, pair of shoes, throw pillows, or makeup brush that you've talked about 3,000 times. So what if they forgot? So what if they're just now seeing it and somehow missed all the other mentions you've made? Shit happens. The Internet happens. So suck it the fuck up and do your job AS AN INFLUENCER by answering their flattering inquiries with class and grace. 

Not by screenshotting a question, NOT blocking out the follower's name, and scolded them publicly with a message like "This is the LAST TIME I'll be posting the link to this. PLEASE TAKE A SCREENSHOT. Thx." Oh, sorry to disturb your delicate genius. Sorry that THIS IS YOUR JOB, BITCH. I WILL FIGHT YOU.

For example. Last month, I shared with you all a list of the best things I've ever purchased via Amazon. In that list, I included an earring organizer. About 5 days later, one typical Friday night while cleaning my house, I posted an Insta story about how I had just spent the last 15 minutes reorganizing my earring organizer. I think I got at least 10 DMs asking me where to get the organizer and that they needed it in their life! Sure, this brought to light for me that these people may not have meticulously combed through that Amazon blog, but did I shame them for it? Did I screenshot their messages and put them on blast for DARING to ask me about something I had just written about? NO. Because I know we, as media consumers, can't remember it all. We might find something online, think "OH! I NEED that," get distracted with having to go pee, and forget we ever were interested. Or we might be scrolling at an inopportune time that doesn't allow us to save something of interest to go back to. Example: You're dropping the kids off in the restaurant bathroom while admiring a blogger's latest Madewell-esque lewk when you realize you've been away from the table for 15 minutes and your date FOR SURE knows you were pooping. So you close up shop, lock your phone, and dessert, rides home, hooking up, sleeping, and hopefully groggy morning-after brunch happen, making the lewk you were so into a distant memory.

I'm just tired of the entitlement and ungrateful bullshit. I would kill for the sheer quantity of followers these girls have. Alas, I have what I have and will answer every question, no matter how many times it's been asked, over and over and over and over again with grace because I'm thankful you guys found me, follow me, and feel comfortable enough to DM a hoe. So let's keep it that way.

Also, this is the last time I'll be sharing this post so PLEASE SCREENSHOT IT. THX.