What I Bought From Amazon In May
I like knowing what appeals to you guys month over month when it comes to Amazon, thusly why I share what y’all were loving/adding to cart/getting delivered within hours. However, I’m doing it a bit differently this time and including what I bought last month in case you missed it or I never posted about it (rare, but nothing’s impossible).
MAY’S BEST-SELLERS:
Finishing Touch Flawless Women's Painless Hair Remover
I’ve been using this tool for a few years now, and I’m a hairy Jewish woman who, prior to discovering this tool, had to get everything waxed or threaded. If that’s not enough of a testimony for you, I don’t know what else you could need to hear to be sold on this. No, my mustache doesn’t grow back thicker or darker—do you think I would use it if it did?!
New York Biology Dead Sea Mud Mask
This is my most favorite mask I’ve ever dabbled in and, coming from a woman with extremely sensitive skin, that should say a lot. The formula is an herbal complex of Aloe-Vera, Calendula Oil, Vitamin E, Sunflower Seed and Jojoba Oil and smells absolutely luxurious. I instantly feel better as soon as I apply it, for real. It comes in a legit jar with so much product, so you won’t run out any time soon. I use a brush to apply it, let it hang out on my skin until it dries (10-15 min), then simply rinse it off with warm water and apply my face oil. LOVE IT.
If you haven’t already bought a set of resistance bands, what are you even doing? Just kidding, but for real, these come in so handy for at-home workouts and can be used for so many different exercises, either as the exercise itself or a substitute if you don’t have a dumbbell! I’ve had them for years and love them still.
It seems as though y’all love a good hair accessory just like me, and these cute ass headbands speak for themselves. Are they the best quality? Hell no. There’s 8 of them for $15, what do you expect?! But in terms of needing a cheap, easy way to pop up your look or hide your dirty quarantine hair, these are it.
Another product I’ve been using for years that is just exceptional. These little tablets do wonders for water bottles, thermoses, and any other sort of vehicle in which you get fluid into your mouth hole. Plus, they’re biodegradable and environmentally friendly so you can use them anywhere to totally clean out your gross ass Hydro Flask.
EMMA’S MAY FAVORITES:
I’ve been using that cute timestamped water bottle with the gold lid for a while now, and I have to admit—I’m over it. I don’t find it “fun” to drink out of and, because I’m a bitch who only enjoys cold water, it sweats everywhere which sucks. I also realized filling it up twice a day is too big a demand for my laziness to handle. THEREFORE, I decided I wanted a Hydrojug and was extremely annoyed and disappointed to find that every single one is sold out? So I pivoted to Amazon (because duh) and found a dupe I felt good about. This thing is so big (2.2 liters AKA a half gallon AKA 74oz of water), that you only need to fill it up once a day and drink it all to do your body good. I love the spout and the wide mouth so I can fill ‘er up with ice, and the sleeve keeps it from sweating all over my shit. PLUS, it comes with a strap so you can wear that shit like a crossbody bag to the beach, pool, hiking, bike riding, etc! I seriously love it, and my pee has been crystal clear the last week.
I’m always keeping my eyes peeled for cheap workout gear and am happy to announce I found these tanks that I immediately ordered in 4 different colors (black, red, rose, and white). Because I’m always wearing high-waisted leggings or shorts, these crop tanks hit right at the top, are so light and breathable, the mesh back adds a bit of fun flare, and they wash beautifully (just be sure to line dry them!). They’re so soft and very flattering and I want 20 more colors. I take a medium!
Listen to me and listen to me closely. My entire adulthood, I’ve lived by the notion that the gluten-free thing is a load of crap. Then, someone told me they heard a whole thing about pasta from Italy via the Joe Rogan podcast when Tool’s frontman (yes, that Tool) Maynard James Keenan was on. Supposedly he was going on and on about Morelli and how American wheat truly has fucked everything up and made stateside pasta incredibly hard to digest, leaving you feeling like shit after a big ole bowl of rigatoni. So, I bit and let me fucking tell you—HE WASN’T WRONG. This pasta is not only absolutely incredible, but I ate probably a serving size and a half and felt LIGHT afterwards? I didn’t have that heavy, brick stomach I usually do post-pasta—no farts, nothing. I am forever changed and will only be making Morelli at home anymore. It’s available in so many varieties, too: truffle, garlic basil, squid ink and each package comes with recipe suggestions! IT’S SO GOOD, GUYS. Also, Maynard makes wine and it’s also really fucking good.
Because you really can never have too many, and if you’re fucking around with anything shorter than a 3-foot charging cable, what the hell are you doing?! We charge while we continue using in this family and these extra long cords allow that.
Before I invested in a new laptop for EMMASTHING LLC, I had to trade-in my very old one and, before I did that, I needed to get all my shit off of it: enter an external hard drive. But not just any drive, no. A LaCie, because they’re the only ones I’ve ever bought and the only ones I ever will buy. One time, I strayed from a LaCie and the fucker didn’t work and I cursed myself for knowing better. I got this mini one that’s just 1TB, and it got the job done!
I made the most incredible lemon blueberry bundt cake in May, and my mother informed me I immediately needed to get a bundt cake keeper or I wasn’t a real woman. This one is simple, $15, and perfect. So, if you’re in the market for something as niche as this, you’re welcome.
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